Effective feedback (2)

Not many people can give good feedback. Quite often it is too rude, judgmental and subjective. Especially written feedback can be really difficult to give, because it is black and white and without any non-verbal expressions.
Be brave and learn from any feedback - positive and negative - by choosing what part of the feedback you'll accept.

One way of giving feedback is that your coach states what she's just observed, but also adds to that the impact the information or behaviour had. And by asking you: "Was it what you intended to have?". If not, you can work on changing your behaviour.

Role-play is another technique in providing you feedback. This way you can easily practice a difficult conversation for example. You can play yourself or you can play the person you want to have a conversation with and your coach will play the role of you. Role-playing works great to face your worst fear. You play your future self against your present self which will give you an authentic experience. It helps you to prepare for any eventuality. You can play the same conversation over and over again or with different possible reactions. And if you want to your coach can video or record the conversations for you to take home and digest.

Effective feedback

Giving effective and good feedback is a very important skill for a coach: when applied appropriately, feedback can open up whole new opportunities for you. A good coach will ask you for permission to give feedback: "May I give you some feedback on this issue?"

Feedback is not offering an opinion. It is neutral and objective and does not contain judgment. Sometimes feedback can be hard. Your coach will then try to prepare you before she is giving the feedback (and after asking permission first!): "My feedback is not meant to be embarrassing, but can be hard for you".

The following is an example of good effective feedback:
Coach: "I have noticed that you are not returning your coaching forms. Furthermore you are calling in late and you haven't done all of the tasks we agreed on. What do you think your level of commitment is at the moment? Do you think it is a good time for you to be coached?

Feedback is about simply telling you what has been observed. The coach states what they notice and then listens to your response to follow up even further.